Make sweet memories at Captain Dan’s

Aaaarr you ready for a pirate-themed bakery?

Captain Dan’s Pirate Pastry Shop is a rather curious place, where buttery cookies come in a skull and crossbones, and where fondant is draped by a man wearing a leather tri-corner hat. At this Lincoln City bakery, at the corner of SE 51st Street and Highway 101, you can buy a black neckerchief with your oatmeal cookie, or a driftwood birdhouse with your cinnamon roll.

Who is Captain Dan? How did he get here, and what’s he running from? Who invented the Beefy Captain’s Cookie, and what’s in there, anyway? If you’ve ever set a peg leg inside this Lincoln City bakery, you’ve probably left happy as well as a little inquisitive.

This week, we offer “Ask Captain Dan,” a conversation (of sorts) with the bakery’s co-owner, Dan Draper.

TODAY: Thanks for agreeing to answer our questions, Captain Dan.

Captain: What would you like to know? I’m a wealth of information. I can tell you everything about nothing.

TODAY: OK, first things first. How did a dastardly pirate like you end up frosting cookies?

Captain: I lost my boat in a poker game, and they left me with just an apron! Well, actually Mrs. Captain Dan (also known as Kathy Draper) is the heart of all the baking aboard here. We used to be retired, but decided to do this because we thought it would be fun, and we thought there was a need for a bakery in the Lincoln City area. And we’ve always loved the pirate theme. And we’re good at it! And I get to wear this cool hat!

TODAY: So without Mrs. Captain Dan, there wouldn’t be a bakery. How do you keep her happy?

Captain: A sprinkling of sugar, a dab of butter and she controls the money. Actually, I don’t do much to keep her in line — we get along very well, considering we’re with each other 24-7. But we each have our own tasks and areas of responsibility, and we’re always driven by humor. This type of business is hard work, but we’re following our passion and we’re having fun.

TODAY: What are your best-selling pastries? Are there any that have surprised you with their popularity?

Captain: Marionberry turnovers sell better than just about anything else. I think it’s the novelty. We get a lot of visitors, especially from the East Coast, who have no idea what a marionberry is. People come in and say, “I don’t want a marionberry, I want a blackberry.” I say, “A marionberry is a blackberry.” They say, “No it isn’t, it’s two berries married to each other.” Get it? They think they are marryin’ berries. Another weird one that people like is a chocolate pumpkin muffin top. I thought, “God, nobody would buy this.” But kids love it. They also love the skull and crossbones cookies – nobody else makes these things. Where else can you get a pirate cookie, but a pirate pastry shop?

TODAY: Nowhere, man. You’ve been going strong since 2008. What is the secret ingredient to your success?

Captain: Don’t listen to people who say it’s rum. It’s flaky crusts. Grandma’s recipes and flaky crusts. Toil. And the mere fact that the plank is in the shop.

TODAY: Between the custom cake decorating, the wholesale orders and the pastry shop walk-ins, things can get pretty busy around here. What do you do to relax?

Captain: We run naked up Highway 101! You gotta watch that sword. It’s a real killer. But you’re right — things can get a little stressful around here, especially in the summertime. Mrs. Captain Dan gets her nails done, which I used to question but obviously it’s an important thing. It gives her a chance to get away from me and have lady contacts. I just head out to the beach and look at the ocean.

TODAY: Who are your favorite customers?

Captain: Those who pay! Besides that? My favorite customers are the ones who accept the shop and have a sense of humor. Because the baked goods are just the things we’re selling. It’s the pirate theme that makes it a pleasure. Hopefully, everybody leaves the shop in a better mood than when they came in. When I worked at the Federal Reserve, nobody smiled when I came in. This, on the other hand, is fun. Every customer is our best customer. 

TODAY: Who did the decoration in this place? I like it.

Captain: Putting it together, I had a vision. And this is not it. This turned out nice. I had something more disgusting in mind, but as I went along the theme kind of changed. I wanted it to be a fun place, with a nautical theme. I wanted kids to have fun in their activity corner. Since I wasn’t baking, I had to prove my worth here. And I love to spend money.

TODAY: You have a lot of pirate knick-knacks in here. Were some of them gifts, or did you actually go out and buy them?

Captain: Some have been gifts. These figurines came from Atlanta, bless the little darlins, and friends of ours said these two … what are they pelicans? No, albatrosses. Anyway, they thought they looked like us, his and her pirate albatrosses. What can you do? They were gifts.

TODAY: For a pirate, you have a very clean apron. How do you get the stains out?

Captain: Dead seagulls. Squeeze them real tight. Boil them a couple hours. Gets rid of any stain, especially marionberry. Works on the caaarpet, too.

Captain Dan’s Pirate Pastry Shop, at the corner of SW 51st Street and Highway 101 in the Taft neighborhood of Lincoln City, is open from Wednesday through Sunday, 8 am to 2 pm or until sold out. For details or to order ahead, call 541-996-4600.