The Protein Detour
By Dave Powell
For the TODAY
Hopefully, ferry services will be resumed this year for Oregon Coast Trail hikers seeking passage across Tillamook Bay. Otherwise we will still have to hike the 20 miles of Highway 101, Highway 131, and Bayocean Road from Bar Jetty to reach Cape Meares. But if we have to hike the highway alternate it will at least contain the Protein Detour, with plenty of options for cheese and jerky.
I first tasted mac and cheese in pre-school. I didn’t eat it then and, more than 65 years later, I still don’t.
Watching TV as a kid I learned the difference between American and Swiss cheese. Natasha Fatale asked Boris Badenov which he wanted. Boris chose Swiss. So, Natasha pulled out a machine gun and “aerated” a block of cheese to create Swiss.
Alton Brown in a “Good Eats” episode about cheese answered the question, “What is the most popular cheese in France?” His reply, “I have no idea, but I bet it’s runny. I bet it smells like an old sock.”
Growing up I finally tried various cheeses. My repertoire is Swiss, very sharp Cheddar, and Velveeta. Of course, mozzarella cheese is on pizza but who eats it plain?
Jerky
As for acquiring a taste for jerky, that started with the Scouts. It wasn’t all that great or that bad. It balanced flavor against the tougher chewing. It does keep one’s tummy feeling full.
As you head south from Garibaldi about six miles later you reach Bay City, and Tillamook Country Smoker. Although the factory doesn’t have a tour — the prices in the outlet store are worth stopping in. From small twin packs of the smoked sausages to larger 10-ounce packages, protein for your muscles comes in a multitude of flavors — my favorite is Teriyaki.
Cheese
About three miles south of Bay City’s Tillamook Smoker is the Tillamook Creamery. Farmer owned since 1909 it is hard to miss. The large building has on the second floor an observation area so you can watch the process of turning milk to cheese. It also has samples — three different sealed Cheddar styles you can take on the road were the choices. Other cheeses are found on the first floor, along with other snacks and merchandising (where Mel Brooks as Yogurt in Space Balls says the real money is made). The large ice cream parlor section and the regular checkout line are short waits. I walked out with a package of 10 smaller extra sharp Cheddar for later hikes, a larger Cheddar for crackers at home, and a merchandising postcard “I came, I saw, I con-curd.”
About another mile to the south is Blue Heron Cheese. Besides cheese, it has wines, a small animal farm and a candy store. Among the cheese choices besides their Brie is Wensleydale— known from Wallace and Gromit. In the 1990s, sales of Wensleydale cheese from the Wensleydale Creamery had fallen so low that production in the last dairy in Wensleydale itself was at risk of being suspended. Thanks to the popular Wallace and Gromit animated shorts, the company survived.
Blue Heron’s selection is less aimed for hikers. So, I spend more time in their candy store, which features an eclectic selection that should meet everyone’s tastes. There, I found a grape scented pen. When all the protein choices of this detour have been eaten — the scent of the grape pen will still be present for months.
To quote authors Jessie Jones, Jamie Wooten and Nicholas Hope in their play, “The Savannah Sipping Society,” which just finished its run at Lincoln City’s Theatre West. The final word is “Fromage!”